| Quotes |
Topic |
| Men and Women | I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked me in the cellar. |
| Men and Women | Marital Freedom: The liberty that allows a husband to do exactly that which his wife pleases. |
| Men and Women | A good marriage is like a casserole, only those responsible for it really know what goes in it. |
| Men and Women | A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother why the bride changed her mind. "What do you mean?" responded her mother. "Well, she went down the aisle with one man, and came back with another.". |
| Men and Women | All marriages are happy. It's living together afterwards that is difficult. |
| Men and Women | He believes that marriage and a career don't mix. So after the wedding he plans to quit his job. |
| Men and Women | It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man. |
| Men and Women | Marriage is a romance in which the hero dies in the first chapter. |
| Men and Women | Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering. |
| Men and Women | Marriage is bliss. Ignorance is bliss. Ergo... |
| Men and Women | Marriage is like a box of chocolates. You have to squeeze a few bottoms to make sure you like what you are getting. |
| Men and Women | Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not so hot. |
| Men and Women | Marriage is like a violin. After the music is over, you still have the strings. |
| Men and Women | Epperson's law: When a man says it's a silly, childish game, it's probably something his wife can beat him at. |
| Men and Women | Some men are born with cold feet; some acquire cold feet; and some have cold feet thrust upon them. |
| Miscellaneous | LSD melts your mind, not in your hand. |
| Miscellaneous | No one is listening until you make a mistake. |
| Miscellaneous | One thing you can't recycle is wasted time. |
| Miscellaneous | It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous. |
| Miscellaneous | If you think before you speak the other guy gets its joke in first. |
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