| Quotes |
Topic |
| Pleasure | The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because he thinks it is true; he thinks it is true because he gets pleasure out of it. |
| Government | The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. |
| Government | Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule -and both commonly succeed, and are right. |
| Progress | Progress is the process whereby the human race is getting rid of whiskers, the veriform appendix and God. |
| Rebellion | It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause. |
| Religion | We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. |
| Religion | It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry. |
| Religion | We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the same sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart. |
| Remorse | Remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it. |
| Scandal | The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be indignant about them. |
| Cliches and One Liners | A judge is a law student who marks their own examination papers. |
| Honor | The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act, even when it has worked and he has not been caught. |
| Literature | A great literature is chiefly the product of inquiring minds in revolt against the immovable certainties of the nation. |
| Lying | It is hard to tell if a man is telling the truth when you know you would lie if you were in his place. |
| Morality | To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment. |
| Government | The only good bureaucrat is one with a pistol at his head. Put it in his hand and it's good-by to the Bill of Rights. |
| Government | No one ever heard of the truth being enforced by law. Whenever the secular arm is called in to sustain an idea, whether new or old, it is always a bad idea, and not infrequently it is downright idiotic. |
| Government | War will never cease until babies begin to come into the world with larger cerebrums and smaller adrenal glands. |
| Government | To wage a war for a purely moral reason is as absurd as to ravish a woman for a purely moral reason. |
| Government | We suffer most when the White House busts with ideas. |
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