| Quotes |
Topic |
| Justice | We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world, and its efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read. |
| Kings | Only kings, editors, and people with tapeworm have the right to use the editorial "we." |
| Kings | All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised. |
| Laughter | The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. |
| Law | I can't do literary work for the rest of this year because I'm meditating another lawsuit and looking around for a defendant. |
| Learning | Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. |
| Religion | I don't know of a single foreign product that enters this country untaxed, except the answer to prayer. |
| Religion | Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand. |
| Rest | Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit, well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands. |
| Rights | Always do right, this will gratify some people and astonish the rest. |
| Sarcasm | I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it. |
| Sleep | I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting. |
| Smile | Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. |
| Speech | It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. |
| Speech | It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things, freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either. |
| Speech | It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. |
| Sports | It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling. |
| Golf | Golf is a good walk spoiled. |
| Success | All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then Success is sure. |
| Superstition | Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either. |
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