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Quotes - Cliches and One Liners - Page 56

 
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UnknownA jury consists of twelve people chosen to decide who has the best lawyer.
UnknownA kid's idea of a balanced diet is a hamburger in each hand.
UnknownA king's castle is his home.
UnknownA kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.
UnknownAlcohol preserves everything but not dignity.
UnknownA leading authority is anyone who has guessed right more than once.
UnknownA life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.
UnknownAlimony, funds which allow a woman who lived unhappily married to live happily unmarried.
UnknownAlimony is having an ex-husband you can bank on.
UnknownA little boy asked his mother why the minister got a month's vacation while his dad only got two weeks. The mother answered, "Well, son, if he's a good minister, he needs it. If he isn't, the congregation needs it.".
UnknownA little boy's prayer. "Dear God, please take care of my daddy and my mommy and my sister and my brother and my doggy and me. Oh, please take care of yourself, God. If anything happens to you, we're gonna be in a big mess.".
UnknownA little boy was saying his bedtime prayers with his mother,"Lord, bless Mommy and Daddy, and God, GIVE ME A NEW BICYCLE!!!"Mom, "God's not deaf, son.Boy, "I know, Mom, but Grandma's in the next room, and she's hard of hearing!
UnknownA little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the offering plates.When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped up so that everyone could hear, "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five.".
UnknownAll bicycles weigh 50 pounds, except that a 30 pound bicycle needs a 20 pound lock, a 40 pound bicycle needs a 10 pound lock, and a 50 pound bicycle does not need a lock.
UnknownAll fingers are not alike, If you cut bigger ones to make all equal it is communism, If you stretch smaller ones to make all equal it is socialism, If you do nothing to make all equal it is capitalism.
UnknownAll I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn't buy happiness.
UnknownAll men can fly, but sadly, only in one direction -- down.
UnknownAll men make mistakes but married men find out about them sooner.
UnknownAll mothers are working mothers.
UnknownAll of us are God's creatures, just some are more creature than others.
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