| Author |
Quotes |
| Anonymous | If you think before you speak the other guy gets its joke in first. |
| Anonymous | Sex is like snow... You never know how many inches you're going to get or how long it will last. |
| Anonymous | Marriage is like the army. Everybody complains, but you'd be surprised at how many re-enlist. |
| Anonymous | Live every day as if it were your last and then some day you'll be right. |
| Anonymous | There is one thing more exasperating than a spouse who can cook and won't, and that's a spouse who can't cook and will. |
| Anonymous | You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. |
| Anonymous | There is no remedy for sex but more sex. |
| Anonymous | If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people? |
| Anonymous | Living in the past has one thing in its favor - it's cheaper. |
| Anonymous | Happiness: An agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another. |
| Anonymous | With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best. |
| Anonymous | Nothing succeeds like -- failure. |
| Anonymous | Reality is good for you...in small doses. |
| Anonymous | He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides. |
| Anonymous | Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. |
| Anonymous | Sometimes it's useful to know how large your zero is. |
| Anonymous | With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law; and every time they make a law it's a joke. |
| Anonymous | If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion. |
| Anonymous | The universe is laughing behind your back. |
| Anonymous | My way of joking is to tell the truth; it's the funniest joke in the world. |
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